Wednesday

It all seems to go slower than planned but I still try not to stress myself. I haven't started with the bike trips yet. On Monday I was busy trying to figure out how the washing machine works and yesterday I had a doctor's appointment. Today, depending on the weather I might do a first round. I think I have decided on a new camera. The Canon Powershot SX710 seems like a good alternative. It's not crazy expensive and still has good reviews. But it might be another couple of weeks until I can afford it. I would love to have it for the summer though and summer is right around the corner.
The next bigger project is my balcony and that I will take on this weekend. There is a handyman coming on Saturday to finally fix the plastering around the balcony and then I will put in these IKEA tiles and set up a table with two chairs and of course, flowers and veggies. Once it's all set up I think it will be beautiful and I very much hope to get it done this weekend. It's supposed to be 30 degrees and I can't wait.
Besides that, everything else is still kinda in the air. I feel like I am floating and I just don't know yet where I am going to land. But I do want to try other things or go back to things I really enjoyed. I loved doing the high-rope course and I definitely want to do that again. I also really want to go kayaking again. All of that can be done by a lake close to my house. Maybe I can also try different high-rope parks. There are quite a few in the area but I like the ones in woody areas more than those that are out in the open. I want to feel that I am really climbing from tree to tree. I also really want go hiking again. I know that I can make it work so that I don't have too much hip pain the next day. But I need to challenge myself and I need to find things which are just a great experience and give me a good feeling. I want to feel like I am achieving things and like I am getting ahead in my personal development and that is not just mentally. I really want to be fit again and to grow some muscles. I used to be so different as a kid. I used to be active and confident, now I am just lazy and anxious. I also really want to spend more time in the city. It doesn't take me more than 20 minutes to get there by train and then I am in the heart of Cologne. It's such a great city and I should really make more use of that. Maybe I'll meet a few new people again. Other than that I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I will film the balcony make-over. :)

First week....

....is over and tomorrow I am going back to work. This week was good overall. I got a lot done. I got most of the things put away, almost everything has its own space now and the faucet and shower system have been installed. That's good.
Now I am sitting here trying to figure out what I want to do with my life from now on. I have been wondering that all week - trying to structure my day and now that I have all this time on my hands and I have no pressure to be somewhere and do something and wait for someone, I can do whatever I want. All of a sudden the question is: What do I want? I think vlogging would be fun. And if it eases me into things, I figured I'll do it for myself first. I can keep all the videos on my channel private and once I feel comfortable enough I can still publish them. I would also really like to buy a better camera. If the tax return is really as good as I am hoping it'll be, then I will invest in a good camera.
I also really want to start going to dance again and I want to do something here at home after work and if it's only a bit of roller skating or taking a nice walk or riding my bike. I really enjoy riding the bike. I want to ride it along the canal and see where that takes me and maybe I can film a nice sunset over the fields. That would be so cool. I guess I just have to figure out a snack system so I don't starve when I get home. I think it would be fun to explore the places of my childhood again. Maybe that would be something really cool to vlog.
I also want to prepare little snacks and stuff for work. I could easily prepare sliced up veggies for work with some homemade dips and sauces. I have so many recipes for different dips and maybe some bread sticks and stuff sometimes. I have so much time now and the grocery store is open until 10. There are actually 3 grocery stores open until 10. Really cool. 

First weekend...

...in the new apartment. Yesterday was another full day of moving and unpacking. I finally have all my furniture over. I also brought my cat, Kelby, home last night. He is still confused and freaked out and I don't think he got much sleep last night but that's ok. He'll come around. I'm glad I have the week off so I can be around and he won't be alone too much.
I realized I'll probably need another billy shelves from IKEA for my living room. I still have a few boxes full of books and I have no shelves left to put them. Yesterday I also bought the new shower system and a new faucet for the kitchen. I hope they can be installed next week and it won't cost too much. I can't wait to finally be able to take a shower without having to hold the sprinkler over my head. In here these is just so much to do still. But I try not to stress myself out over it. I am also exceptionally tired. I have been for the last few days. I don't know what it is. Maybe I am just exhausted from the last couple of weeks but I just had breakfast and I could go back to bed right away. I don't sleep bad but I am still so tired when I wake up, even though I can't fall back asleep and then during the day I feel like falling asleep all the time.

I plan to start filming soon. I just have to find the right sd cards. The one I am using right now isn't really meant for filming and I think it messes up the quality. 

Another day...

Good morning,

it's another rather nice day and I am getting ahead in baby steps with my apartment. Last night I worked in the bathroom. I just have this urge to have at least one room finished. There is still boxes everywhere and nothing is put away because not everything has a place yet and my walk-in closet is not even close to being finished - there are clothes lying around everywhere. I can't wait for Saturday. I can't wait to finally have all my things in the new apartment and to finally put everything away. I have so much more space now than I ever had but I don't have enough storage yet. There are still a few shelves I'd have to put up on the walls especially in the kitchen and living area. Maybe I'll do that next week. We'll see. I have to fix my bike and bring it over to the new place, then I have to set up the shelf I bought for my storage unit in the basement and the balcony is a huge project that I really want to finish rather sooner than later since summer is around the corner. Next week's Saturday the guy is supposed to come to do the new plastering of the balcony walls and then I have these wooden tiles from IKEA picked out that I want to put on the floor and then of course a table and two chairs to sit on. I will also put up some flowers and some herbs and I have some fairy lights left over from my x-mas decorations that can be used outside and those will definitely go on the railing. I think it'll look really nice once it's done. I am looking forward to spending some summer afternoons out there with a glass of wine or maybe a weekend breakfast with some fresh coffee. I can finally see how it can all come together and I can hardly wait to have it all done.
I have a window treatment picked out for the bathroom. I just have to order it and I am still undecided about the mirror. I saw a tutorial the other day about turning a regular 15 bucks mirror into something beautiful and unique with adhesive tape and these little mosaic tiles. You just place them around the outline of the mirror and it looks really nice. It also gives you the change to add some colour to the room, if you pick the tiles in green or blue. I might do that. It would be unique, DIY and probably more affordable than a regular mirror. It would also allow me to design both mirrors the same way.

First makeover project....

...the result:

Arrivals...

Last night I could finally sit on my couch and just watch some tv with a fresh ginger tea. My couch and washer/dryer came yesterday. I am a little done though. I am so sick of lifting boxes and carrying heavy stuff up the stairs. I also hate how these moving boxes unfold. It makes it almost impossible to carry them. I just won’t unfold them anymore, not unless I absolutely have to. I have a few more days of packing, carrying and unpacking ahead of me but after that I am hopefully done. I plan to move the last furniture and boxes on Saturday. After that it’ll just be some unpacking I’ll need to do and then I am hopefully done, at least with the heavy stuff. Of course, I still need to put up lamps and I still have to decide what furniture I want for the bathroom – and order them, or buy them.

Yesterday I went to IKEA and bought some necessities like a toilet brush and trashcans. I also bought supplies for decorations, amongst them 15kg of gravel that I had to carry up the stairs. After watching some youtube DIY tutorials and home makeover videos I have some really nice ideas for decorations. I can’t wait to hang some flowers and grow some spices on my balcony. I also can’t wait to get the bathroom set up and decorated. I am still thinking about what to do with the floor, especially in the bathroom because it is just so ugly. Maybe I can put in some vinyl floor in there. It would be a separate room and that should work. The only problem is, the door is so close to the floor that it’s already difficult to close it and those vinyl tiles have a certain thickness – that will probably make it difficult. But since I have all that gravel left over, I want to make my own floor mat from it. I will built a wooden case with a wooden floor, place the gravel on it, I’ll probably have to glue it to the floor, and then add some Fugenmasse to fill up the open spaces. Then I can put it on the floor underneath the sink and it’s like a natural floor mat. I could also make a soap dish that way. Then I want to get the mirror tiles from IKEA and built a second mirror in the bathroom opposite of the original mirror – to open up the space and to make it easier to do my hair – seeing myself from behind and all. In one of the tutorials I saw a bathroom makeover where they added white square boxes as shelves. That would work perfectly for me since I have a little built in wall anyway and I wouldn’t need to drill any holes. I could just place the boxes on the wall and put them on top of each other. It would hold just like that. I could put towels and stuff in there. I think the bathroom is going to be my next project, then comes the balcony, then the kitchen. The kitchen is a huge makeover project that I am just not ready to take on yet.  

Getting ready....

I feel like I am getting ready to start over. There is still a ton of work to do but just a moment ago, I felt like I was ready to start over and to be motivated to finally get a grip on those things I have neglected lately, like working out and making an effort to look nice and dress nice for work. During the first few months of 2015, just when the spring collection started coming out, I went shopping a few times and bought some really nice business clothes - chic yet stylish and definitely not too conservative. But with the break.-up and the apartment searching and then the renovating and moving, I didn't feel like working out or dressing up. My muscles were sore anyway from moving boxes and from painting and at night, I was just tired and wanted to take a bath and then climb into bed. I still have to work the rest of the week but next week I have off and I plan on getting my apartment all set up and decorated and then make a plan to get back into a routine of working out and making beauty appointments and then basically just getting my life back on track.
I was also thinking I'd take myself out on dates, now that I have all this free time. I could go to the movies or on walks or hikes or to the museum on the weekends. I would also love to invest some time and tlc into my photographers. I love taking pictures and before all this life-changing mess happened I planned on buying some equipment, like lights and a new camera lens but then I had to save all my money for the move and it will take me a few months to get used to my new financial situation but once I have, I can start making plans again to invest in some hobbies.

Last night I decided I will get the rainshower showerheadsystem I want, earlier than planned. When cleaning out my shower I noticed that the old showerhead fitting is broken anyway and instead of getting a new cheap one, I will take the 200 bucks it will likely cost with having it set up and get the one I planned on buying anyway in a month or two. I can just as well save the money then. I just want to try and not go completely over budget. Sadly I'll need a faucet in the kitchen, too. The old one is leaking and fossiled and all the cleaning in the world isn't going to fix that. Also, it's not pretty. So I am going to have to replace that as well, some time soon. 

I just saw a vlog on youtube by girl living in New York (Brooklyn I assume from the view) and it made me so nostalgic for our trip to NYC last summer. We had amazing weather and the best time and I just love the city. Due to the jetlag we were usually up pretty early and being up in NYC in the first hours of morning when the city is still sleeping, is just wonderful. I wish I could go back and just enjoy being there for a week. But due to all the moving costs, I probably won't even be able to go on vacation this year.

My legs are on fire....

After work yesterday, I spent all afternoon and evening packing. I finally packed up the kitchen ( a total of 5 moving boxes and a number of bags with food, spices etc.). I really didn't think I have that much stuff. It's going to take me forever to unpack all of that. And I will have so much paper trash to take out. I think I used up all the newspaper I could find anywhere in the house to wrap all my dishes. I have a pile of boxes in the living room, a few in the bedroom, in the kitchen. There is boxes everywhere. I tried to get some order into everything because I don't like it when every room in the house is a mess and you can't walk anywhere. So I worked on clearing out the kitchen and the bedroom. I moved some boxes from the bedroom to the living room. I took down the curtains in the bedroom and I packed up some clothes because I will be living out of a suitcase next week. I then descaled the coffee maker (it still needs some cleaning) and cleaned out the kitchen. It still needs some work but most of it I can only do once I've moved some of those boxes.
A friend's grandmother just moved to a retirement home and now her old place needs to be cleared out and cleaned. So last night, we went over there and packed up some things, took down her old closet and moved some of that stuff. That took some time and energy. At some point I was just so tired and my legs hurt, by back hurt and I was hungry. I just had to take a break. I got some dinner from a Chinese place from across the street and had a glass of wine. I tried to go to bed early but it took me some time to wind down and so it ended up being around 11pm. I did have to turn up the volumne on my radio alarm clock because the last couple of mornings I almost overslept because I was so tired and I just didn't hear it.
Today, the new doorknops and the shelf-system for my walk in closet should arrive. I am so excited. I won't be able to put it up probably for another week but that's ok. I am just glad to have it. And I am so very excited to see what the dresser looks like once it's put together with the new doorknops and all.
Tonight I won't be able to do much more. Maybe some cleaning and organizing but all my boxes are packed and I first need to get new ones (which I wouldn't really know where to put) or I need to wait until I get the keys to the apartment and I can take some over, unload them and take them back for a second round. That's the good thing when you're not moving too far. You can do a couple of trips to get all the stuff moved. Since I am not moving with a moving company and I didn't rent a big truck, I will have to make a few trips anyway. I still have quite a few things from IKEA to buy and I hope to be able to do that on Friday, or Saturday by the latest, and I then will rent one of their trailers to bring the new furniture home but then also make a trip from the old place to the new one to move the larger furniture such as my dining room table and a few larger shelfs - just the things you wouldn't be able to fit into a bigger car. 
So that's the plan for today: just do some cleaning and try to create some space to live in for the next couple of days.

First remodelling project - a dresser

 before

 in between

in between

I'm starting over yet again...

I am starting this blog because I am going through some changes in my personal life and it just feels like a good moment to start something new. I also just need an outlet, I need to share things and write about things and just get it out of my system.
First things first, I am moving - hopefully by the end of the week. I already have a lease signed and now I am just waiting to get the call and find out when I am gonna get the keys. The new apartment is in the same town I have lived in for the last year, it's just a few streets away from my old apartment. I had thought about moving to a bigger city but in the end it just didn't feel right. I love the city but moving there on my own, in such an emotional time, just didn't feel quite right and I guess I do like the countryside, the smaller towns and you just get more space for the same rent. I'll have a fairly big apartment now, on two levels. It is a loft so I will lose some space because of the lower ceilings but I don't think I'll mind that too much. It also comes with the advantage that no one is living above me, trampling around all day long.
I will have a lot of renovating to do. There is a not so pretty wood ceiling in the top level and I want to paint that white, which is going to be a lot of work. I also want to put some wallpaper up and I need to paint a lot, also the kitchen needs some tlc. I hope I'll be able to start on Friday, Saturday at the latest. I'll have to move a lot of the larger furniture this coming weekend, just because I won't have the car to do it later on. Right now I am packing up my life in the old apartment. It is so much work and it's not so much fun to do. I could borrow a few boxes from work but it's still not enough. I have so many books and the boxes get too heavy too soon. I will probably have to do a few tours and re-use the boxes a few times.

I do plan on posting pictures and updates and maybe even some videos on here on the progress I am making and on how things are going.